Monday 9 March 2015

♡ late night post ♡

I haven't posted for a really long time. Things seem to go so fast these days and a lot of days blur together. I haven't really made a post on here about what I want to talk about today but I thought it would be a good time for me to talk about it seen as though it's been affecting me pretty badly recently.

Basically, I have an array of health conditions. Both mental and physical. I have had these for around 5 years now, which I find very strange as 5 years to me is a long time. It's a whole 1/4 of my life and that's only so far.

I have been formally diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME/CFS), Fibromyalgia, GERD, IBS, Agoraphobia, Depression and Panic Disorder. Try to say that 5 times fast! Basically, a lot of my body's 'systems' don't work properly.

I'd say a lot of my troubles are down to the initial ME diagnosis and bits and bobs have got progressively worse and more symptoms have arose over time. It's all fun and games in my body. Woo.

Anyway, that's a bit of background, it's a whole other story, or maybe 10, but we'll leave those for another fine day (or middle of the night rant).

At the moment, I am suffering from a relapse. A pretty bad one at that. All the issues I am used to controlling are out of control and a handful of new, interesting things are coming out of the woodwork. (That's basically what a relapse is, well done on the description Elaine). I'm extremely exhausted to the point where I'm only spending on average, a couple of hours to 3-4 hours out of bed a day. I'm in a lot of pain and I feel like I have the flu. I'm mentally drained and my doctor described by body state as 'saying run down is a big understatement'. It's fine, I could deal with a relapse, I've had them before. Like I said, it's been 5 years, I know what I'm doing (mostly)), but this time, I'm living on my own, in a different city, studying at university.

It really is a massive struggle. Getting out of bed to do washing or cook or get ready for uni at 8am is pretty much running me dry.

People take such little things for granted like having the extra energy to have nice long shower every day or being able to walk around shopping for a few hours or spending time doing a bit of work then doing a spot of tidying. I'm not saying 'woe is me' or anything but I wish I could do those things right now. I'm really academic and I LOVE to learn but trying to get my brain to concentrate and think and gather information is so difficult and I want to get on top of all my assignments because sadly enough, I'm a sucker for an essay but it's just so much. If I want to do work, I have to cancel plans, I can't go out, I have to sleep a lot, I have to isolate myself for days. Don't get me wrong, I won't leave uni but I'm allowed to say I'm struggling right?

I suppose I'm jealous, jealous of the normality I will never have. Jealous of the experiences I could never try and the life I could never lead. Being at uni, I've been surrounded by utter normality. When I was at home, I didn't have to see people going about their lives every day. I didn't see how different my life was.

*sigh* I think what I'm trying to say is I'm finding it hard. I don't know. I'm just trying to plod on as best I can.

God bless,

Lainey

Wednesday 4 June 2014

TONSILLECTOMY

Hey everyone!!

Thought I'd keep a journal of my journey after getting my tonsils out.

I had my (rather large) tonsils out yesterday at 9:10am and the op was 40 minutes long but I didn't wake up until after 11 (I don't think). Slept like a baby, obviously.. I was so far under.

Woke up in moderate pain but the nurses soon sorted that out with morphine can I was full on trying to talk to this woman in the cubicle next to me in the recovery room, I actually think I was shouting because we had the same name. Embarrassing haha.

I was completely out of it for a while after and my mum came to see me after I'd been in the ward about 30 minutes, after id had some water. I had to wait to have my post op toast because I'm vegan and had to have a vegan butter spread thingg that was in my bag but that was fine. Food kept getting stuck and it wasn't a joyous occasion but by this point I was rather hungry and I knew I'd be able to go home that day if I ate and drank enough. I had low blood pressure throughout this time but it wasn't dangerous or anything and they made sure it was reasonably normal by the time I went home 6 hours later.

I got home and sat in the sun for a whole after taking some of my pain medication and then caught up on coronation street. I then went to bed, my dad helped me set up Netflix, set my pills alarm and got snuggled down. Didn't sleep until 2am due to probable over tiredness and after I did I kept waking up with my uvula blocking my throat but I figured out if I stayed on my side I was fine. Still woke up every 2 hours and I'm glad I did so my throat didn't get too dry and I could have a sip of water while drifting in and out.

Today hasn't been as horrendous as I thought but I've been feeling a bit sick and dizzy but that's expected due to the amount of painkillers I'm on. I'm currently on Dihydrocodeine, Paracetamol, Naproxen for pain and Cyclizine for sickness oh and Benzydamine mouthwash that numbs my throat and so far I've only had tiny bouts of spiking pains after eating certain things and whatnot. It's a burning sensation I suppose.

Anyway, I'll update again tomorrow, as of now I'm watching chick flicks in bed with a cold pack on my neck because it's aching.

Have a good day all,

Laine ♡

Friday 28 March 2014

It's been a while..

Hello petals,

Sorry I haven't wrote a blog post in such a long time but well, I've not been in the best state of being. In and out of doctors and hospitals and on a different type of antibiotic every other week. I've been surviving though, going out when I can, trying to have a shred of normality. I don't want to go into great detail about it though, that's for another time. I just wanted to say, I'm still around. I'll get round to blogging more soon. Thanks.

Thursday 5 December 2013

♡ life ♡

So, I hate to be negative, truly I do, but the last couple of months have been horrible. This year I've completely changed and luckily due to these positive changes, I have been able to cope reasonably well with my health deterioration. I've had my rough patches, but hopefully after my tonsillectomy that I'm having on Tuesday, I will be feeling a lot better as the constant infection from my tonsils in my body has caused a lot of problems and made me really ill to the point where my mum had to get an ambulance to take me to A&E so they could monitor my heart.

I've not been at college much which has really got me down as my education is the most important thing to me but I can pat myself on the back because I applied for Uni early and got my place at Manchester Metropolitan University to study Biomedical Science! Woo-hoo. Everyone is really shocked I managed it, but well, just shows I'm underestimated doesn't it? My illness doesn't define me and if anyone reads this who has any sort of problem or they have had a bad patch in life, I promise you, it will NEVER define who you are.

I'm off to watch some family guy in bed now with my babies (hehe my dogs).

God bless,

Lainey ♡

Thursday 8 August 2013

Bloglovin!

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Night time beauty ♡

Hey beautiful creatures!

Not posted for an awful long time but thought I'd grace you with my presence today so I can show you my current night time face & body routine!

First, I cleanse and 'tone' my face using Boots Tea Tree & Witch Hazel Cleaning and Toning Lotion (dying for Liz Earle but I'm a poor woman!) then apply Soap and Glory Eye Cream to my eyes because I get such bad under eye circles.. ew. I then apply Tesco Hydrating Night Cream with Cucumber Extract (this was a quick buy, needed a night cream and it was the first one I found, but it smells nice) onto my face and Garnier Ultimate Beauty Oil onto my body.

lots of love,